I just found this article, googling an unrelated topic. I wish I’d written this, it’s so good!
But seriously, I agree. There are certain things we, as Army Wives, do not like to hear, or necessarily be pressed to talk about. While I will give civilian friends/acquaintances the benefit of the doubt – they don’t necessarily know what’s appropriate and what’s not (I was on their side of the fence, once), some things are just, or would seem to be, common sense.
For myself, don’t treat me like I’m a victim. Yes, I miss my husband. No, he won’t be home for the holidays, birthdays, or our anniversary, during his deployment. No, even when his date to return home gets closer, it’s not “all downhill from here.” Yes, some friends may be able to relate to the loneliness if their husbands go away for business and such, when you don’t see them for an extended period of time; but they are not going to a war-zone, and they are not gone for a year with the possibility of an extension.
Most days I do well emotionally and mentally, trying not to think about what is or could be going on where my husband is. And I’d appreciate not being forced to have to think about what he could be going through. I agree fully, Army Wives should not be defined as being the spouse of a deployed soldier : that’s so depressing. We are, those of us who are faithful Army Wives, are defined as being a wife to a man we love, and some of us as being a mother to our child/children. Yes, our lifestyles are a little different, for what our day-to-day life becomes, but we have no other choice, for the man we love.
I’d love, over the time of our deployment and my time as an Army life, to compile the things I hear – the things that make me cringe and the things that make me light up – and write about them, too, and offer my spin on what’s good to say to an Army Wife, and what you should keep to yourself. But for now, this blog is very good.