Hurry Up and Wait, and other Military Cliches that become Life

I feel like I’ve been doing a lot of complaining lately…in person, on facebook, in a few blogs.  I do apologize, I promise I’m not naturally a whiner; I blame circumstance.

I can’t be specific, but lately we’re playing the hurry up and wait game.  Deployment is coming up.  We were given dates, a week within which any day we could expect my husband to deploy, but most likely, it would be the first day.  So, I got myself mentally prepared for that day, my husband was getting himself prepared for that day…and then we get news that the anticipated date is pushed out a few days, and even then it could change.  At this point, I’d almost be happier if they said the date was a few days sooner than we anticipated.

This is our first deployment, so of course, I had heard things like this happen, but it’s not really something I was considering.

I understand that the military and such have their reasons for doing this, and I hope it’s not because they enjoy messing with the minds and emotions of its soldiers and families, but it seems like over the years, there could be a better way of carrying out deployment dates.  But, as I write that sentence, I know that there’s too many variables to provide definite dates months in advance.  It’s not as simple as planning a trip to another state, they are traveling to a war-zone, and war zones aren’t static.  There’s more than just “bad weather” standing in their way of their arrival.

I heard the term “Semper gumby” (forever flexible) today, from a former military wife and family member, as she described what us Military Wives, and service members, really, have to be and remember.  You can’t plan your life, really, anymore, so long as  you or your spouse are enlisted.  Another Army Wife posted a blog recently, about her angst with being stuck on their respective Post, and they cannot leave.  And that’s how it is…you are where the Service wants you, and even if you’re the spouse, and civilian, you can’t really leave, either.  You may be placed at a location you otherwise never would have traveled to visit (like us, lord knows we’re never coming back for a vacation once we leave), you may not like it, but you can’t change it.  All you can do is try to make the best of it.

So, we’re essentially in limbo right now, waiting for deployment to roll around, getting everything else in order so everything else around deployment can fall into place…  I want everything to be over, I don’t want to wish away time with my husband, but it really does make your heart sink a little, to prepare for a date, then it’s moved back.  Military wives aren’t bad wives for thinking the same thing, we know what’s on the other end of our husband’s leaving – them coming home.  The sooner they leave, the sooner they come home.  And it’s so emotionally draining to prepare yourself for that separation for months until you’re with them again, and a year or so until they are home for good, that when it doesn’t happen when you expect it to, but it’s still happening, you’re happy and disappointed at the same time.

So, to all the military wives who are awaiting deployments, from this Army Wife to you, I hope your deployment date is on time or at least not dragged out, deployment goes by quickly and safely for you, and you’re in your spouses’ arms again before you know it!


4 thoughts on “Hurry Up and Wait, and other Military Cliches that become Life

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  1. I’m sorry, Kristel. I remember with Bobby’s first deployment the date got moved back and forth a couple of times…stressful. Same with his return date. As I told you about his second deployment, his date got bumped up to 3 weeks sooner than originally thought. Such is military life I guess…but it makes it hard on everyone involved. I’ve been thinking of you!


    1. It really does, I can’t imagine how much harder it is for the families with children involved, especially when they’re at the ages that they don’t understand why mommy or daddy is leaving, or has left, and is gone for such a long time. I guess if you grow up with it, it’s one thing, and you come to better understand it, and accept it as much as anyone can I guess, as opposed to being thrown into it, like a lot of us wives are! haha Those of us that grew up in civilian families, then marry someone in the military, we aren’t well adapted for it. But I guess when all else fails, you gotta wing-it, right?

      Thanks for thinkin’ of me!


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