[Originally posted April 20, 2010 on Blogger]
Mortality is natural, and often we do not have a choice in when we go. And we are often not ready for the passing of our significant other. As deployment draws a little closer, thoughts of the dreaded “what if” are sometimes hard to evade. Often times, however, all I can think about is how distressed, depressed, and distraught I will be, and can’t imagine I’d be functioning much beyond crying constantly. I hope and pray to all the powers that my husband and I will be able to have a long and happy life together, sharing new and familiar experiences.
However, I know that IF something were to happen to my husband, he would not want me to mope around for the rest of my days, nor would I want him to the do same if I were to die unexpectedly. At least, not any more than would be appropriate for the loss of his wife. So, today, I was able to think beyond the mourning, and decide what it is I would do with my life if I were to lose him.
I will move to Montana.
No, I have never been to Montana: the only places to the west I have been to are Nevada and Arizona, which are completely different from Montana in almost every way. And I have no ties to Montana, no one I know out there.
But going to Montana if I were to unexpectedly find myself a widow, sounds like a good idea to me.
I think that everyone should have a plan for themselves (either alone, or with their children if they have any), should they find themselves a widow. Otherwise, I imagine that a lot of people, myself included, would be at a loss for themselves following the death of a loved one. How do you move on if you have nothing to move on to, and you’ve lost what, and who, was your life?
Having a plan by no means undermines the life you build with your partner, and it by no means undermines my love for my husband. I would only want the same for him, and anyone else. Otherwise, if the rest of your life is spent in melancholy, your partner has died in vein.
I do not know for sure what happens after death, if we are transcended to heaven, or hell, if we are reborn, or if that’s that, but one thing I do know: once we die, the life we had is over – the lives of the ones we love shouldn’t be.